Today, due to a difference in seasons of life, I had to turn down an invitation to spend some time with friends I don’t often get to see. It was disappointing, but also fuel for this post. I was standing in the kitchen tonight, listening to my husband play with our son and I started to laugh. My husband was singing and dancing to Judah’s musical toy and it made me realize how much has changed for us in the last five months.
The song lyrics that are in our heads now are not of the latest band we’ve discovered, but instead are from singing toys. We cannot get little riddles of the alphabet and counting to ten out of our minds. The music we dance to isn’t on Billboard’s top 100 list, it’s coming out of a plastic toy with smiley faces that light up when you push it’s oversized piano keys.
Other areas of life have drastically changed as well, as one can imagine. As I stated in my previous post, we have recently moved. We are currently renting the upper level of a duplex while we search for the perfect house to buy for our family. Sharing a home with someone else means that you can hear the other occupants. Our neighbors are not bad, except for the occasional shouting of the F-bomb every now and again when they do something stupid on their racing video game (which is awesome to hear the computerized engine sounds over and over and over again…). However, I have found myself easily annoyed when 8:00 pm rolls around and they are just starting their night. For us upstairs with a baby, we are in full on bedtime mode. I cringe every time I hear a loud noise from downstairs, just hoping it doesn’t wake our light sleeper.
Before Kyle and I had Judah, we were just like our neighbors. The night was young at 8:00 pm, our plans were always just beginning at that time. We were night owls and enjoyed sleeping in well past ten on most Saturday mornings. Sunday afternoons were prime time for naps and watching movies at our leisure. We could go out at the drop of a dime, spontaneously, without any additional thought. I used to love shopping and keeping up with all the latest styles. Now, I get in and out of a store as quickly as I can before my little man pitches a fit. I wear things for function rather than fashion, and I make sure my hair is up as quickly as possible before somebody’s quick little fingers grab and pull a fistful of it. Sure, we still go out from time to time, but it must be strategically planned and if Judah is in a bad mood, forget about it. Yes, these are all the obvious things that you have to adjust to when welcoming a baby into your life, but it’s crazy to think about it. I mean, really think about what your life was like before your baby.
Personally, I miss it sometimes and I think that’s okay. No, that doesn’t make me a bad mother; in fact I think it helps me keep some perspective. To me, it’s important to remember the things I enjoyed for me, before Judah came. Like how I love clothes or date nights with my husband, or curling up and watching a good movie. No, it’s not practical for me to run around cleaning up spit up, wiping poopy diapers, and getting drooled on in some glamorous ensemble. Instead, I live my love of shopping through things like Pinterest when I get a free moment. Date nights are few and far between, but Kyle and I still try to find the time to check in with one another and take care of our relationship. And watching a movie isn’t always practical or desirable, especially when running on little amounts of sleep, so I’ve found relaxation in going through TV shows on Netflix here and there. It’s important to remember what I enjoy and to not get so caught up in “mommy mode” that I forget who I really am, what my passions are, and what I enjoy out of life. Knowing what makes you tick is important, and it’s important to me to get away to do those things, for my sanity if nothing else. Yes, these things take a back seat most of the time during this season of life, but I am keeping them on the shelf and will definitely pull them out more frequently in the future as I am able.
For now, we sing and dance to silly alphabet songs, we’re beat by 10:00 at night, and 7:30 is as good as we get for sleeping in. The only time I’m awake past 11:00 pm these days is for a late night feeding. It’s kind of funny to look back and compare what I was up to just a few months ago to what now consumes a majority of my time.
Change is good, especially this one, alphabet songs and all.