I’m taking a giant leap. It’s one that’s got me shaking in my boots and it will definitely be a challenge. I have been wrestling with this idea for over four years and I am finally ready to take it on. It’s something that is always in the back of my mind, something I love to do, that gets my blood pumping and my creative juices flowing. It’s relaxing and energizing all at the same time. I’m talking about photography.
I took an introduction to photography class during my junior year of college. It was that class that made me fall in love with this art. I had never done anything like it before, and never imagined how much I would enjoy it. I don’t consider myself to be an artistic person or overly creative. I am not comfortable with calling myself a photographer, and feel that I will have to gradually gain the confidence in this field to take on the title. I have a lot to learn and figure out, but I’m tired of using that as an excuse to no longer pursue something that I sincerely enjoy.
I love being a stay at home mom. It’s a wonderful privilege to be able to interact with my son all day, every day. That being said, I need something for me, as well. Being a mom is a very sacrificing endeavor. When you have a baby in the house, things run on their schedule; everything else gets done in a rush by trying to tackle as much as you can while they nap. Though I love it, it is important to me to not forget who I am amidst the laundry, diaper changes, playtime, and other household tasks.
I attempted to take myself seriously a few years ago, but only half- heartedly, and once different life events took place, I used it as an excuse to put my efforts to a halt entirely. I have never had confidence in what I do. I look at my photos and instantly compare them to photos of people that have been doing this for years. I am continually forgetting that it takes time, practice, and lots of trial and error.
Recently, I was asked to take some photos of family members for a Christmas gift. I was excited that I was asked and taking the pictures really sparked my desire to pursue this once again. My husband has always been extremely supportive and encouraging of this dream. In fact, he bought me a new camera the other day to show me just how excited he was that I am finally going to take this dream and make it a reality. However, I think what really pushed me over the edge was my son.
I want Judah to know that I support him in whatever he wants to do. I want him to follow his dreams and pursue his passions whole-heartedly, no matter how long of a process it may be. What type of example would I be setting for him if I constantly talked about wanting to pursue mine and never did?
I am aware that there are millions of photographers out there. I am not doing this to make a great income, to be competitive, or build a large business. I am doing this because I have wanted to for so long, and now is the perfect time. I am doing this for me. It is time for me to get over my insecurities and doubts of my creativity and push forward.
I know that this will be an endeavor that takes time, commitment, and a willingness to learn. I am asking you to keep me accountable and to challenge me to continue to pursue my dream and to stop chickening out. Photographer friends, I would love any insight and pointers as I begin this process. Those of you who have helped me already, thank you so much!
I’m going to leave you with several images that I took a few years ago. Some are more documentary style than posed, but I think it’s important that I become more comfortable with sharing photos that I have taken.