Let’s just get right to it. I take an anti-depressant. So what? There are millions of others just like me, and I’m SO tired of feeling ashamed about it.
I recently told my husband that I have no problem discussing it if someone else brings it up and is curious whether or not they need some type of medication or whatever. But…I didn’t want to openly share it unless asked directly. Well, I’m obviously chaining my mind. I think it’s a bit silly to be so ashamed and secretive about it. I’m a little tired of people talking about depression like it’s leprosy. And I’m tired of feeling like I have it.
I was formally diagnosed with mild depression a few months ago, though I’ve known for years that something just wasn’t quite right. I’ve been able to deal with it most of the time on my own, but the older I’ve gotten, the more difficult it has become. I’ve tried the natural remedies, as I’m usually not a huge fan of medication, but you know what, sometimes it’s the only thing that works.
Some people take medication because they have high blood pressure, some people take it for arthritis, others for anemia, etc, etc. Well, I take medication for my brain. It’s the most important organ in the body, and mine needs a little balance sometimes. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I tried to find that balance naturally, smelling things, essential oils, taking vitamins, the list goes on, but sometimes, you can’t heal everything that way. Sometimes, no matter how you change your lifestyle, your blood pressure still rises, am I right?
Also, for all my fellow Christians out there who are reading this and saying, “oh, I’ll pray for your faith. Just seek God and He will work it out.” Bullshit. Sorry. I have a solid relationship with Christ. I pray daily. I love him wholeheartedly. He gave me my brain. He gave me my personality. He gave me mild depression. He also gave me the courage to do something about it. Does your faith have anything to do with your inherited high cholesterol? No. So don’t address me like I’m some defective Christian because I take an anti-depressant.
Deciding to actually see the doctor about what was going on took a lot of pushing from my husband and a lot of resistance from me, because I too had the preconceived notions that I’d be admitting I was “a little crazy” if I started medicine. That was until I started taking it. I feel like me again. I feel joy. I feel excitement. I feel love. Yes, I get mad still. There are times that I still just need a good cry. But I relish the time with my son now. I don’t snap at him for asking me to play. I want to be around my husband, and I feel the way I felt about him when we were first dating. The only thing I have regretted about taking this medication is not doing it sooner.
How’s that for your Monday? 😉 Thanks for listening. Embrace who you are, every flaw, every shortcoming, every beautiful aspect. It makes you who you are, it drives your story, it gives you character. And you’re not crazy.