Lady Friends

So…I just got back from attending my city’s local IF: Gathering. If you don’t know what it is, look it up. If you know what it is, I strongly encourage you to go next year if you couldn’t make it this time around. If you went, aren’t you like…woah. Life changing and beautiful stuff. My mind is still spinning. So much so that I was processing some of the things I heard over the past two days while in the shower this morning–it’s where I do all my best processing–and when I got done, I realized I had been so sucked into digesting everything that I couldn’t remember if I had washed my hair or not.

So this conference couldn’t have come at a better time. Life has been less than ideal lately…I had such high hopes for 2015 because 2014 basically sucked balls, but so far 2015 has not been so kind. I got “laid off” from my job, sort of…I guess you could say, I was “demoted” to being a freelance writer for the company, but “freelance” without any work. Basically, the money there is tight, and it’s a business, so cuts had to be made and lucky for me, I was on the list of cuts. But, I’m strangely okay with this…after a few days of being royally pissed 😉 So, the season of hardships continues for the Alcock’s, but this time, thanks to a swift kick in the pants from the ladies at IF, I am able to face it with an entirely new perspective.

Anywho, that was my, “hey let’s catch up on life intro” and now I’m going to awkwardly transition into my for real post topic: Friendship. I cannot tell you how many times Kyle and I have discussed the issue of friendship. Since moving here to Salem, I finally have somewhat of a social life, which had been lacking dearly for the past five years. However, friendships in adult life are just not the same as they used to be.

Gone are the days of “just popping by” because you have so many freaking obligations as an adult. Jobs, for one. Taking care of and scheduling your kids, family obligations, spending time with your spouse, laundry, dinner, money, the list goes on and on. So basically, being friends as an adult consists of scheduling time well in advance every so often that you can actually get together. Meanwhile, half of the time you’re together, you’re preoccupied about what’s going on at home, or work. Gross.

I recently had a phone conversation with a friend who put this whole “adult friendship” thing into such great perspective. She said, basically in college, we were in this little bubble, so spoiled and entitled to relationships that are just not practical in the “real world.” Boy, do I hate that though. I want my friends to just stop over to my house, unannounced, sit down for an hour or two and just chat. I want to randomly drive over to their house for the sheer reason that I’m tired of looking at my own walls and it’s raining outside, I don’t know how to entertain my toddler anymore, and I don’t have a reason to go to the grocery store. You know what I’m saying?

The catch in all this is that I don’t think I’m the only one who craves this sort of community, and despite our crazy schedules, I don’t think it’s impossible to obtain. It shows up in little glimpses here and there, so I know it exists. Like that time my friends and I danced to a strobe light and old hip hop songs in her living room. Yep. It happened. Three baby mamas getting down to Usher and Lil’ John. And it was awesome.

I consider my friends to be like family to me. I’m introverted, so if I reach out and open myself up to you as a friend, you might as well identify yourself as my family member. Lucky you…

So, when I have a friend, I want to know EVERYTHING about them, and I’ll tell them EVERYTHING about me. I want to chat with them all the time. I want to spend time with them. Not in a stage five clinger kind of way, but in a “hey, lets do life together,” kind of way.

Interestingly enough, because I’m introverted, I often sit back and wait for friends to initiate our “scheduled times.” However, if I want something to happen, I just gotta do it.

So, friends, consider yourselves warned: I’m spontaneously stopping by your houses now, and it’s going to be awesome.