Your Hair is Everywhere, Screaming…help!

Anyone else’s 14 year old self get my Dashboard Confessional play on title?!? Come on you guys, who was not into Dashboard at that age? My 7th and 8th grade self would have died and gone to heaven if even one boy would have paid me attention. I was the “friend girl” through and through. I digress…

Anyway, let’s talk postpartum hair. I mean, for the mother-f-ing love! First, you lose just a TON of it. Just tons. It feels like every time you shower or brush it out, you’re going to go bald. You can’t do anything with it because it’s so thin, and it is EVERYWHERE and not in that Dashboard Confessional kind of way.

Then…the regrowth happens. And it’s not cute. It’s just not. It sticks out, straight up, like bangs you didn’t ask for. Lord knows you need a haircut, but it’s not going to happen anytime soon because what are you supposed to do with these little tiny baby hairs that are just not endearing? And, whenever you wear it up in a messy bun, it’s just weird looking. Like, half your hair is an inch long and hanging down, but not in an “I have really cute trendy bangs” kind of way. It’s more of a, “Did your toddler cut your hair?” kind of way.

Also, don’t get me started on the grays. Between the lack of sleep your body is now experiencing plus that added stress of an additional life, they just pop up like wildfire. This is yet another thing no one told me about before having a baby. It would have been nice to know.

So, first time moms who stumble upon my lowly blog, you’re welcome. You’re about to embark on a year plus of serious hair weirdness. May I recommend you increase your supply of bobby pins, hairspray, and headbands. Also, embrace the gray hair until  you can get your boobs free enough of that baby to go and have a proper hair cut and color. Just for some realistic ideas of that…I haven’t had mine done in over a  year.

Insert all the emojis.