Dear Bethany,

It’s okay.

It’s okay that your dishes from four days ago are still in the sink.  The ones in the dishwasher are clean, and we all know you’ll get to them eventually. You have not one, but two dirty crockpots? No problem. At least you used them at some point.

It’s totally fine that you haven’t dusted in a while. Little children are still running in and out of your house, so even if you did, no one would notice anyway. Don’t worry about the fact that you haven’t done you or your husband’s laundry in so long that he had to wear old underwear to work. He rallies for you and is proud that at least the kids have clean clothes.

And speaking of your awesome husband, it’s no big deal that you haven’t shaved your legs in a significantly long time. He’s also cool with it that you didn’t get the opportunity to shower today because your schedule and children were both slightly crazy. He’s watched you birth babies, and still finds you sexy. Honestly, there’s not really too much beyond that which will make you physically unattractive to him.

It’s not the end of the world that your child, after over a year of efforts, still will not always poop when he has to. This too, shall pass. Don’t stress over the amount of times you have to say, “stop making fart sounds,” “no, we are not talking about poop right now,” or “for the love, put your shoes on!”

You had canned soup for dinner last night? No big deal. A little processed crap never hurt anybody. At least you saved $20 and opted out on going through the McDonald’s drive through for the 85th time this year.

Don’t feel bad that you forgot to pack diapers for your daughter today when you dropped her off in the nursery and she ended up needing a diaper change and had to be put in a diaper much to small for all that junk inside that trunk. She survived, and the nursery workers have extra diapers just for moms like you.

You’re doing great. You’ve got this. Mom power and all that hoopla to you. Because you know what? Sometimes the stars align, your baby takes a long nap, your oldest is actually quiet during “quiet time,” and you get to clean your kitchen and listen to Kaleo at the same time. And, after that the heavens open and it’s 65 and sunny on an Oregon November day and you can get outside with your littles and rake the entire backyard with a 20 pound baby on your back. And despite being hit with a rake over a dozen times by a certain four year old who is very slowly learning spacial awareness, you got the entire yard raked and your kids got some precious vitamin D. Then, your babies entertain one another long enough for you to punch out this letter to yourself.

Don’t worry, mama. If you don’t get it done today, it will be waiting tomorrow, or the next day, or even the day after that.

You are capable.

Sincerely,

Yourself.

 

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The No-Good, Horrible, Very Bad Morning.

So, do you ever have those days where it’s just not your day, right from the get-go? I am currently having one of those, and good news for me–it’s only 11:00 AM. More fun to be had, right?

Here’s what the last few hours have brought to me:

1) I mis-measured my coffee/water ratio in favor of the water.

2) I walked my dog and when going to collect his morning duties via plastic bag, there was a hole in the bag, and my finger met that hole, along with his best smelling, fully digested dog food. Awesome. And, that was about a block and a half from our house, so…I had a nice smelling walk home.

3) My son slept in and woke up at 8:15 this morning, which was super nice. I was able to get an entire article for work done before he woke up. Then, I got distracted by something stupid and exited off the document prior to saving it. Rookie mistake, Alcock.

4) Like I said, Judah slept in. Win for me. The catch is, he has not stopped talking since 8:15 AM. Literally, not once.

5) I  attempted to hang some string lights from my porch this morning. It’s really a two man job, but over-excitement got the best of me and I decided to try and tackle it myself. I got two strands hung, and they fell. Bulbs shattered everywhere, and my deck was covered in microscopic shards of sharp pieces of glass. Try sweeping that up, while wrangling an ever-chatting toddler, and keeping him off the patio where all the pretty lights with sharp, pointy, edges are now accessible to his grasp. Yikes.

6) Just when things couldn’t get worse, my dog, usually glued within my eyesight, got the sudden urge to take off in a full-out sprint around the neighborhood. So now, I’m running around like a crazy person screaming at my dog (who is purposely not responding) with my yoga pants on, unwashed and full-on bed-head hair, and day-old mascara running down my face. Not to mention the ever-chatting toddler in tow.

I sent my husband a text out of frustration of my day. And do you know what he did? He called Target, explained my situation, and gave me the name of a customer service representative who would exchange my broken porch lights for brand new ones. You know why he did that for me? Because he is amazing. Also, thank you Target for yet again being awesome.

A few deep breaths, a little toddler time on the iPad, and one therapeutic blog post later, and I think I’m ready to get back into this day. Also, don’t we all need these moments, these “no-good, horrible, very-bad-day” times to put things into perspective for us?

There are some pretty heavy and serious things happening in our country and around the world right now. And, I’m saying this to myself as much as anyone else, but let’s pay attention. There are people who are crying out for our help, for justice, and for peace. Folks, as I look at my “white privileged” life, where the worst part of my day is broken porch lights, I think there is a HUGE need for us to stand up, listen, and do something about what is happening. I encourage you all to research, know your facts, and LISTEN.

This is a great place to start: https://ifgathering.com/2015/03/unity/